Get Her Horny With Humor (Works even if you’re short, fat, bald, & ugly!)
“If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” – Marilyn Monroe
Three facts about humor:
1) Laughing is an aphrodisiac. [1] It triggers an increase in endorphins, the brain chemicals known for their feel-good effect. [2]
2) Research studies cited by Dr. Glenn Geher and Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman in the 2013 book “Mating Intelligence Unleashed” confirm that women find wit and humor incredibly sexy. [3]
3) Humor plays a key role in romantic attraction. [4]
So even if you’re short, fat, bald, and ugly (genetics really have been cruel to you, huh?) you can still score a hottie by stimulating her emotions and making her feel joy, desire, and lust.
Below you’ll get a handful of street-tested banter lines and techniques that can add humor to everyday social situations and “spike” her attraction towards you.
Building sexual desire during a casual interaction requires balance.
The key is to inject the right amount of humor into a conversation.
Make too many jokes, you’ll come across try-hard, too few and you won’t be funny.
That’s why the combination of wit and humor is so powerful.
Let’s jump into the first example…
The Absurd Accusation
Accuse her of something completely absurd. Base your accusation on something big and/or ridiculous that ties into the environment.
EXAMPLE #1
Observation: The girl you want to meet is standing next to an ugly piece of furniture. (The accusation in this example was based on a hideous zebra skin couch at a bar.)
Accusation: Listen, you can’t bring your couch to the bar. They already have furniture here.
EXAMPLE #2
Observation: You notice someone dressed like a crazy person. (The accusation in this example was based on an older lady at the gym wearing what appeared to be Spider-Man pajamas.)
Accusation: You seem like a nice person. I just don’t understand why you won’t take your grandmother to get some better workout gear.
EXAMPLE #3
Observation: There’s a huge statue near the girl you would like to meet.
Accusation: I know what you’re up to and you’ll never get away with it… That statue is way too big to steal. Even if you do get away with it, where you gonna put it?
Set Openers
EXAMPLE #1
I was totally going to wear that tonight. I’m glad I didn’t. It looks much better on you.
EXAMPLE #2
Sorry I’m late girls traffic was terrible. Did you order me a drink yet?
Actually, I saw you girls over here and wanted to meet you. My name is ___.
So what kind of trouble are you ladies getting into tonight?
EXAMPLE #3
Bartender, I’m buying drinks for all these people. They can have water or ice water… So how do you guys know each other?
I Have A Boyfriend
EXAMPLE #1
HER: I have a boyfriend.
YOU: I know. I’m from the boyfriend replacement agency. He can’t make it.
EXAMPLE #2
HER: I have a boyfriend.
YOU: He’s mine you bitch! (Said in a feminine tone)
EXAMPLE #3
HER: I have a boyfriend.
YOU: I have a math test.
HER: huh?
YOU: I thought we were naming things we could cheat on.
Relationship Status
EXAMPLE #1
HER: Are you married?
YOU: I’m currently hiring for that position. Would you like an application?
HER: I don’t know… Maybe.
YOU: Be careful what you ask for. The interview process is… extensive.
EXAMPLE #2
HER: Do you have a girlfriend?
YOU: Wait, is this your way of breaking up with me? (Follow with a break up role play)
EXAMPLE #3
HER: Are you single?
YOU: Ask me that question again… But this time, whisper it in my ear.
(This one is fire! The routine that follows this line will get you laid fo sho.)
Where Are You From?
EXAMPLE #1
HER: Where are you from?
YOU: My mother says I came from heaven.
EXAMPLE #2
HER: Where are you from?
YOU: I live nearby… But you can’t come over. I hardly know you.
EXAMPLE #3
HER: Where are you from?
YOU: Well I shouldn’t tell you, but, I’m from the future.
HER: Oh really!?
YOU: Yeah, in the future there’s a zombie apocalypse and our unborn child is the only hope for humanity.
What Do You Do For A Living?
EXAMPLE #1
HER: What do you do?
YOU: I’m an ass model.
HER: haha no way!
YOU: Yeah check it out, but no touching.
EXAMPLE #2
HER: What do you do?
YOU: I drink a lot and contribute very little to society.
EXAMPLE #3
HER: What do you do?
YOU: I have a medical condition that keeps me from holding a job… I’m allergic to bullshit.
How Old Are You?
EXAMPLE #1
HER: How old are you?
YOU: Why, do you need someone to buy you a beer?
EXAMPLE #2
HER: How old are you?
YOU: Old enough to remember pooping without a smartphone.
EXAMPLE #3
HER: How old are you?
YOU: How long have you been into older men? (If she is younger than you)
Questions To Ask
EXAMPLE #1
On a scale of 1 to 10, how dirty is your mind?
EXAMPLE #2
If we were in kissing school what grade would you get?
EXAMPLE #3
You seem like trouble. What was the last illegal thing you did?
Role Play
EXAMPLE #1
Use at the gym: You’re my personal trainer for the next 3 exercises. What’s next coach?
EXAMPLE #2
Use anywhere: You’re my dating coach for the next 5 minutes. How would you seduce that girl over there? (Point to a girl nearby)
EXAMPLE #3
Use anywhere: You’re my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes. What would you like to do next?
Miscellaneous Replies
EXAMPLE #1
HER: What’s your name?
YOU: Mike, but my stripper name is Hercules.
EXAMPLE #2
HER: My name is Sandy.
YOU: Seriously? I have an ex named Sandy. Promise you won’t break my heart like she did.
EXAMPLE #3
HER: I like your cologne.
YOU: That’s not cologne. It’s the scent I release naturally when aroused.
EXAMPLE #4
HER: How many girls have you been with?
YOU: I’ve been with 4,370 girls, or is it 4,369? Does it count if you just put in the tip?
EXAMPLE #5
HER: How are you?
YOU: What, in bed? Jeez you’re forward!
EXAMPLE #6
HER: How are you?
YOU: I couldn’t be better… I’m in love.
HER: That’s great. Congratulations!
YOU: Thank you… It was love at first sight. The second I saw her I knew.
YOU: What I love most about her is the fact that she’s more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside. And on the outside, she’s… breathtaking.
YOU: Let me show you a picture. (Find the pic on your phone.)
YOU: You’re not going to believe how gorgeous she is. Prepare yourself. Are you ready? This is going to be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen…
(Show her a pic of your puppy, your newborn niece, your drum set, your guitar, you get the idea.)
Here’s your formula for success:
1) Combine humor and wit to build sexual tension.
2) Add a captivating story to create a deep emotional connection.
3) Close an immediate date so you can sleep with her the same day you meet.
Resources:
[1] psychologytoday.com/us/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201407/7-rules-love-laughter-and-using-your-words
[2] psychologicalscience.org/news/scientists-hint-at-why-laughter-feels-so-good.html
[3] amazon.com/Mating-Intelligence-Unleashed-Role-Dating-ebook-dp-B00BK396CY/dp/B00BK396CY
[4] news.ku.edu/2015/08/27/first-comes-laughter-then-love-study-finds-out-why-humor-important-romantic-attraction
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